"One morning, after my husband left for work, I walked out of our bedroom to discover a 2-foot long snake on the living room floor. Apparently, our cat had brought it inside.
"Knowing a little about snakes, I checked to see if it was poisonous. It was not, but it was still alive.
"I decided I had no choice but to be brave. Naively, I picked up the snake by the head, thinking it would hang down from my fingers and I could gingerly carry it outside.
"Of course, it wrapped itself around my wrist as soon as I got it off the floor!
"Bravery flew out the window as fast as I flew out the back door, screaming the whole while until I could shake the snake off into a bush!"
Farmers at war
Mention of the "Fighting Farmers" of Farmerville High brought this history lesson from David Couvillon, of Brusly, about some real fighting farmers:
"Actually, 'Farmers' should strike fear in their enemies.
"Famously, Cincinnatus left his plough to lead an army and govern Rome against an invading army. After defeating the army, he gave up his leadership and returned to his farming.
"In England, the nobles would gather their 'fyrd' (farmers) and beat back numerous attacks by Vikings (until they didn't — long story).
"Napoleon issued his 'levy' and built a powerful army of farmers to almost conquer Europe.
"And the militia at Lexington, Concord, Bunker Hill, and throughout our revolution were made up of … farmers.
"Give farmers their respect! And on the gridiron … be afraid!"
Senior Moment Dept.
"Over the years, my wife Lois and I would occasionally treat ourselves to breakfast at Mande's in Mandeville on Saturday morning," says John S.
"We both retired on a Friday, and had breakfast at Mande's.
"After we got home, she said, 'We were supposed to have ham and eggs at 9 o'clock!'
"'But we just ate!' I told her.
"Turns out she had said we were to be at the Hammond Ag Center at 9.
"It was a double fault. She mistakenly thought it was Saturday: We weren't accustomed to eating out on a Friday morning. And I misunderstood what she said, which is not unusual."
Say what?
• Margaret Hawkins, of Ponchatoula, says, "My friend Sue in Mandeville (who admits to being 80) was delighted when she heard an interviewed 20-something refer to octogenarians as 'octagons.'
"After our recent full day of tours, lunch, art, and desserts, I received a text from her: 'Octagons are entailed, you know …'"
• Monte Briggs says, "Years ago, a co-worker's mother was having trouble swallowing, so she saw a doctor.
"She came by our office afterward and reported, 'He told me I had something wrong with my ee-sock-a-puss.'"
Write Smiley at smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 2304, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.
